


Under Pressure

by KingHades



Series: 3AMRamblings [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 13:11:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20026384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingHades/pseuds/KingHades
Summary: I'm not really good at summaries. This takes places after "Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts". I apologize if certain things stop making sense.





	Under Pressure

Him revealing that he was a dark side was supposed to fill him with a sense of relief. They say that confessing something about one's self, especially a horrible secret, was meant to alleviate one's burden. Yet, this wasn't the case for him. It seemed to increase the weight on his shoulders. Virgil felt pressured.

This wasn't how things were supposed to go.

He was meant to protect Thomas from himself. From the ugly truths he most likely wasn't ready to face. Deceit, even Remus, weren't too bad. Well, with Remus, it was debatable. However, he knew very well that there were far worse sides of his "creator" that he wasn't ready to see.

Yet, having two supposed "dark" sides make themselves known made it quite clear to him that he wasn't doing his job. Virgil wasn't keeping Thomas protected. He was losing control and he despised feeling such a way. Especially since it put him even more on edge. His anxiousness increased, which affected Thomas on most occasions.

Why couldn't he do anything right?

And that's when he felt the tears form in his eyes, one sliding down his pale cheek before being wiped away. He couldn't show weakness, even in the safety of his room. Virgil needed to show strength, just like Roman (even when he was struggling with his own internal turmoils).

Yet, his own attempts at showing strength were failing. As mentioned, he was losing control. Virgil was breaking due to the pressure he was feeling. It only worsened with his confession.

Maybe that's why the tears weren't stopping.

It was too much.

The other dark sides would probably make their appearance and he wouldn't be able to protect Thomas. _He_ probably hated him despite his time as a "dark" side being a part of his past. The others, the light sides, would probably hate him too. Things would return to their previous state, before he was accepted as one of them.

He didn't know if he'd be able to handle that.

Their approval meant so much to him. The warmth and love they provided aided him in times like these. Knowing that he had a family he could rely on made him feel safe. But even beautiful things would come to an end.

Virgil wasn't even sure if he was allowed such a happy life.

"You definitely _don't_ deserve a happy life."

Deceit suddenly speaking had caught him off guard, being quick to wipe away his tears and glare at the other side. Despite his nonchalant appearance, there did seem to be a hint of worry in his eyes.

"What are you doing in my room?" Virgil asked, sounding aggravated with a hint of exhaustion.

Maybe he could sleep for a long time. Or at least he could make an attempt.

"I definitely _didn't_ sense a lie being said in your head," Deceit responded, somewhat tilting his head to the side.

Virgil sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know you have self-control, Deceit. You don't need to speak in lies with me."

He rolled his eyes, speaking up again. "I can sense when there are lies being told and you, Virgil, are lying."

Lying? That couldn't be right. He definitely felt pressured. There was no sense of relief within him. He failed Thomas. He didn't deserve a good life.

"There you go again, thinking of a lie. Virgil," he said, looking directly into his eyes, "why are you lying to yourself?"

What was he supposed to say? Was this the moment where he confessed the thoughts going through his head? No, he wasn't going to crack in front of someone he didn't have communication with anymore. Obviously, not counting the two videos he was a part of.

"Suddenly you decide to care?" He responded with a question which displayed his suspicions. "Is you caring part of your elaborate plan? Maybe you were waiting for me to expose myself to Thomas in order for you to display your faux concern for me!"

As he continued to speak, Virgil hadn't realized how he was back to crying or that he was yelling. He was assuming things, jumping to conclusions. Logan called it cognitive distortions.

A hand to his shoulder startled him, making him stop his yelling. Deceit was looking at him with concern and for the first time, the anger towards him began to dissipate. How long had it been since he saw him concerned? Unlike Patton, Deceit wasn't one to always show concern. Only when necessary and in private moments did he show it.

"Would you like a hug, Virgil?"

The question caught him off guard, not expecting to be asked. However, without saying anything, he hugged Deceit. His hands grasped onto the cape he usually wore, finding it to be grounding.

"I'm sorry, Virgil, for thrusting ourselves back into your life without warning. For making you feel pressured because I know very well that's what's happening," Deceit whispered, holding the side close.

He spoke in truths, having enough self-control for this long. And while he knew he would be reverting back to lies, for now, Deceit would do his best to keep it to truths.

"I'm sorry for leaving without warning," Virgil mumbled, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry if I made you angry or if I hurt you. I'm sorry."

Deceit did his best to maneuver them in order for him to rest both hands on his cheeks and lift his head up. "While it hurt, I forgive you, Virgil. And I hope you are able to forgive me for my own transgressions."

"I forgive you."

There was that sense of relief he had been waiting for. It washed over him, soothing his internal turmoil. And maybe it would last but that feeling was appreciated.

"It's time for you to get some rest. You deserve it," Deceit spoke gently, moving away in order for him to lay down.

He laid down on his bed, doing his best to get comfortable despite the knowing feeling that in a bit, he would begin feeling a bit uncomfortable.

"Oh, and Virgil," he, once again, spoke up, "I believe you deserve the best. I know very well being here has helped. You deserve the good life you have."

And with those final words, he sunk out of the anxious side's room to return to his own while a small smile appeared on his face. 


End file.
